I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
