I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
