A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
