So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
my poor anus
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
