i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
