her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just want nice things and good sex
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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