Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
