Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
