have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
