whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
