Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Never joke about your clitoris.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
