what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize