The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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