Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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