Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wish life had little blips of pornography
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
