I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
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