I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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