You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize