Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
