Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
