I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
