Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
