Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Boobs are out for the taking
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize