i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
