Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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