I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
