Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
