Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
