Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
