You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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