so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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