I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
