So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
