just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
