She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
