FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You need a sexual gate keeper
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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