i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize
