I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
