Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
