toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
