Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
