real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize