did you get engaged???
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
