My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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