she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Pooping to opera.
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