i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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