Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
