How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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