I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
