Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
