I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize