Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just gargled with NyQuil
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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