what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
