I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
