hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
