taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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