He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
