How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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