That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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