I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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