Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
