12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
