Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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