and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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