he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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