talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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