theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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