Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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